Goin' Home to a Place They've Never Been Before

In less than 2 days we will be landing in Guatemala City, Guatemala..all 8 of us.  We've known we'd be taking this trip for about ten years now. Ten years of waiting has come down to just 48 hours. 

Why Guatemala?  We are going for vacation, to have fun, and to experience another culture. More importantly, we are going for what the adoption community calls a homeland visit. Our ten year old Guatemalan born children will be visiting their country of birth.   They will get to see a small bit of their beautiful home land, experience some of the rich culture and heritage of their ancestors, and interact with Guatemalan people.. their people. Unlike some homeland visits, we've chosen not to make this about adoption. We won't be visiting past caregivers or searching out biological family. Rather it's about seeing a small part of where they were born. 

Why now?  We decided to make this trip when they were 10 for a couple of reasons. First, they are old enough to remember the trip and to participate in various activities. Second, they are on the cusp of adolescence. We know that the developmental challenge of adolescence is to discover who we are, to develop our identity. We struggle with where we fit in with our families, our communities, and our world. It's no easy task, just ask any parent of a teen!  For people who were adopted the complicated task of adolescence is all the more complex. Imagine being faced with the task of individuating not from just 2 parents, but 4. Now imagine trying figure out your place in 2 families. In the case of internationally adopted teens, imagine finding your place in 2 countries. Not an easy road. It's complicated all the more by the fact that these adolescents often know very little about their biological families and have  lost most of their connection to their original culture when they gained their permanent family.  The tasks ahead of our 10 year olds are not lost on us. So we chose this time to provide them this experience before they are in the midst of  the challenges that undoubtedly lie ahead. 

And so in 48 hours they will be "goin' home to a place they've never been before".  Or at least a place that they don't remember. Perhaps, like the man in John Denver's song, they will notice the beauty of the land..their land, and have an opportunity for introspection learning more about themselves. As their mother I hope that they come away with a greater love for their roots and most of all for themselves. 

A Different Path And Another Bump

It's been alittle over a month since my last entry. In that time, we have decided to adopt domestically. We are working with an agency that specializes in finding homes for African-American and bi-racial children.

The most difficult part of our decision was wrapping our minds around the idea of parenting a newborn again. It's been over 9 years since we've had a brand new baby and we know we have forgotten alot! We asked the agency if they ever placed toddlers and they said it was rare. So newborn it was! We went to work creating a profile book and were able to pull together photos of our family and write an "all about us" page.

No sooner had that been complete than the agency called us and asked for our book and a letter to expecting mothers because they had a mother who wanted to find a family for her toddler and they wanted to provide her with multiple profiles to look at. So we hurried about with the finishing touches in the hopes that we might prove to be the family for this little one should her mother decide that adoption was the answer for her. The next day we received the call that all adopting parents wait for!

The agency asked us to fly to the state of this little one's residence so that we could meet her mother and go about gaining legal custody.

Here we sit today. We arrived early this morning, but the little one's medical report wasn't ready so we haven't been able to meet. We were disappointed to learn that we would have to wait. We're hopeful that tomorrow will be the day, but nothing is for certain. That we know for certain!

In reflecting, I believe this may be God's way of giving us a little "breather", some down time, before we enter the wild ride known as toddlerhood. So, I'm breathing deeply trying to get a handle on all the emotions coursing through me...hopeful that tomorrow will be the day we get past this newest bump in our adoption journey.

Small Package Extraordinary Courage

Three days ago at 2:30 a.m. four school aged children from a small Asian country met their host and potential adoptive families for the first time. The children range in age from 7 years to 12 years old.

When they finally arrived after a 36 plus hour trip from their homeland, they were smiling, giggling and hungry. As they entered the building where the families tiredly but excitedly awaited them, they grew quiet and shy. Their escort made the introductions and the smiles slowly came back across their faces and nervous giggling once again filled the air.

For some, the transition was easier than for others. One little one in particular, the youngest of the bunch, had reservations about leaving on the final leg of her journey with her host family. Eventually, she got in the car and headed to their home for the next month. She is small for her age and speaks little English. I wondered how her transition at her new home would go.

Yesterday, we stopped by to visit her and her hosting family. They are all doing really well. I am simply amazed at the strength and courage of this small child...to come half way around the world, to meet people who don't understand your language and to whom you can't really speak, to live in their home, try their food, play their games and learn their way of being a family; to lay down at night in an oddly silent darkness and wake in unfamiliar surroundings, to go from trying one new thing to the next all the while smiling, never giving up on attempting to communicate, allowing love in and returning it many times over....

If this is not true courage, then I think I will never know what courage is.