We Are The Truth Adoption Blogger Day

The Joint Council on International Children's Services (JCICS) has asked those who blog about adoption to blog about their adoption experiences. http://adopt-abroad.com/pdf/Call_To_Action-We_Are_The_Truth.pdf This is mainly an attempt to show that a great majority of adoptions are positive experiences (even if there are struggles along the way) rather than what the mainstream media has been trying to portray over the last week in response to one family's atrocious actions.

And so, here is my adoption blog. My husband and I are the proud parents of 5 (eventually to be 6 if we are so blessed) children. Our three oldest were born to us and our youngest 2 were born to their first mothers in Guatemala and came to be our children through international adoption. We will soon be celebrating the 6th anniversaries of their home comings (their family days). While our children joined our family as young infants (5 months old and 6.5 months old), the process itself and the adjustment period (yes, even with infants there is an adjustment/bonding period) had it's difficulties.

There were many nights that I held my sweet 5 month old daughter and felt like a "fraud". It felt more like babysitting than parenting at first. But she fit into our family seamlessly. She fell right into the rythmn and routine of our bustling household. I on the other hand struggled for weeks wanting to feel maternal toward her. Some how, in the act of feedings and diaperings and playing and running from here to there together I got there...I felt like mommy.

Three months after bringing home our daughter, we traveled back to Guatemala to bring home our son. I expected to feel the same way, but knew that "fraud" feeling would pass. But surprise! I instantly felt like mommy to this big bundle of joy! He on the other hand, at 6.5 months old was having nothing of it! I did not look, smell, or sound like the mommy he had known his whole life. He went on a 24 hour hunger strike that only ended when we figured out that he would take a bottle from us if we turned our heads away and made no eye contact. Oh, he would look at us at other times, but definitely not meal time! Again, time was our friend and within a week we could gaze deeply in each others eyes as he took his bottle. The nights of waking to him screaming in terror, however, last for months....but eventually those passed too.

My "babies" are now both 6 years old. They attend kindergarten and have friends and enjoy typical 6 year old activities. They are truly and fully integeral parts of our family. We would not/ could not be who we are without them.

They have different approaches to their own adoptions. Our daughter is constantly curious and open about talking about her adoption, Guatemala, and her birth family (who we do not know). Our son on the other hand turns his back when we speak of his adoption. That is until recently. In one special moment recently, he began talking about the volcanoes of Guatemala. This was our opening to discuss Guatemala and even led to him asking questions about his birth family and adoption. We were happy to share it with him. And to take that moment when his defenses were down and he was open to really listening to instill a pride in who he is that we pray will continue to grow.

Adoption has been an amazing thing for our family. It has brought us together. All of our children are growing up in our family where adoption is just another way someone becomes family. There's nothing less or more unusal about it when compared to being born into a family. In fact, sometimes our biological children feel slighted that they don't have two countries or two moms and dads. I love that we can all view adoption so positively.

I dare venture to say that the great majority of adoptive families feel similarly, including the approximately 100,000 Russian children adopted by parents in the United States over the years. Now to convince the mainstream media of that......