The past two weeks with the children of the summer hosting program have been enlightening. Observing the realities of older children making their spot in a family and families working to accept them is part of that. But more enlightening yet is what observing this process is teaching me about transitions in general.
These four children are transitioning from being orphaned to having a family to call their own. They are learning of the benefits of having someone there to care for them and meet their needs, to enjoy spending time with. They are also learning how difficult it can be to let go and trust that their needs will be met and that love reaches beyond the "fun" times into the difficult times as well.
When the children first arrived they were shy and anxious to step out into the unknown with these strangers who they will one day embrace as their own. Once they stepped out and met this new way of life, the first days were filled with joy, excitement, learning, the thrill of that which is different and new. Road blocks emerged...minor illness and dental problems. Then came the desire for the familiar. While the new is exciting and provides a thrill, there's that yearning for what they have known; even when what they have known may not have been the best situation for them...life in an orphanage. And so the second week has involved a fading of that honeymoon and a struggle to somehow find balance with the draw of the past and the promise of the future.
Reflecting on their experiences, I see their transitioning is not unlike my own attempts to reform my way of living. First I was confronted with anxiety about how to approach this change, but once I stepped out, I enjoyed and embraced the new and different...a healthier way of living. Road blocks emerged...time crunches, exhaustion, other obligations and responsibilities. I too find myself with the honeymoon faded and am feeling inexplicably drawn back to the familiar..the unhealthy habits and lifestyle I once knew...even though it is not the best for me. And so I too am struggling, although in a much smaller way, with somehow finding balance with the draw of the past and the promise of a healthier me of the future.
Interesting that our humanness can bring us together over barriers like life situations, culture, and age when confronted with something we all must face through out our lives....transitions.
And so we continue to work with the children and their families to make it through the work of this change in their lives...and I come away realizing that I too must work in order to transform my own.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Small Package Extraordinary Courage
Three days ago at 2:30 a.m. four school aged children from a small Asian country met their host and potential adoptive families for the first time. The children range in age from 7 years to 12 years old.
When they finally arrived after a 36 plus hour trip from their homeland, they were smiling, giggling and hungry. As they entered the building where the families tiredly but excitedly awaited them, they grew quiet and shy. Their escort made the introductions and the smiles slowly came back across their faces and nervous giggling once again filled the air.
For some, the transition was easier than for others. One little one in particular, the youngest of the bunch, had reservations about leaving on the final leg of her journey with her host family. Eventually, she got in the car and headed to their home for the next month. She is small for her age and speaks little English. I wondered how her transition at her new home would go.
Yesterday, we stopped by to visit her and her hosting family. They are all doing really well. I am simply amazed at the strength and courage of this small child...to come half way around the world, to meet people who don't understand your language and to whom you can't really speak, to live in their home, try their food, play their games and learn their way of being a family; to lay down at night in an oddly silent darkness and wake in unfamiliar surroundings, to go from trying one new thing to the next all the while smiling, never giving up on attempting to communicate, allowing love in and returning it many times over....
If this is not true courage, then I think I will never know what courage is.
When they finally arrived after a 36 plus hour trip from their homeland, they were smiling, giggling and hungry. As they entered the building where the families tiredly but excitedly awaited them, they grew quiet and shy. Their escort made the introductions and the smiles slowly came back across their faces and nervous giggling once again filled the air.
For some, the transition was easier than for others. One little one in particular, the youngest of the bunch, had reservations about leaving on the final leg of her journey with her host family. Eventually, she got in the car and headed to their home for the next month. She is small for her age and speaks little English. I wondered how her transition at her new home would go.
Yesterday, we stopped by to visit her and her hosting family. They are all doing really well. I am simply amazed at the strength and courage of this small child...to come half way around the world, to meet people who don't understand your language and to whom you can't really speak, to live in their home, try their food, play their games and learn their way of being a family; to lay down at night in an oddly silent darkness and wake in unfamiliar surroundings, to go from trying one new thing to the next all the while smiling, never giving up on attempting to communicate, allowing love in and returning it many times over....
If this is not true courage, then I think I will never know what courage is.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Lifestyle Change Update #1
So it's Day 6 of the radical lifestyle transformation and I'm doing ok. Actually, in many ways I'm surprised at how easy it has been.
A list of items I've changed:
1. "Train" for my long term triatholon goal 5 days a week
2. Be sure to get some form of exercise every day of the week
3. Soda as a special treat only (trying to limit to once a week)
4. Dessert/sweets only once a week (Monday night at the moment)
5. Snacking only on fruits, veggies, and lean proteins
6. Going to bed before 11pm
Looking at this list in print it all seems so simple and not all that "radical". But when compared to life before this decision, it's a pretty major change.
The toughest points so far have been late afternoon (2 to 3 pm) I crash and want to eat sugar sooo badly. Need to figure out how to handle that crash....when and what should I eat to prevent it? Any ideas?
Another difficult point has been figuring in the training, especially if I miss Plan A for the day. I've decided to have a Plan A and a Plan B for every day. That should double my chances for getting in the exercise.
Need to start looking at triatholons a year out from now. I want to be sure to make it a good solid goal. I do better with deadlines as much as I complain about them.
I've enlisted the children's help with the change. They've been super in helping. Oddly, I think they are eating healthier too...although I haven't applied my own restrictions to them.
All in all a good almost week. I guess I'll know it's a changed life style when I no longer count the weeks!
A list of items I've changed:
1. "Train" for my long term triatholon goal 5 days a week
2. Be sure to get some form of exercise every day of the week
3. Soda as a special treat only (trying to limit to once a week)
4. Dessert/sweets only once a week (Monday night at the moment)
5. Snacking only on fruits, veggies, and lean proteins
6. Going to bed before 11pm
Looking at this list in print it all seems so simple and not all that "radical". But when compared to life before this decision, it's a pretty major change.
The toughest points so far have been late afternoon (2 to 3 pm) I crash and want to eat sugar sooo badly. Need to figure out how to handle that crash....when and what should I eat to prevent it? Any ideas?
Another difficult point has been figuring in the training, especially if I miss Plan A for the day. I've decided to have a Plan A and a Plan B for every day. That should double my chances for getting in the exercise.
Need to start looking at triatholons a year out from now. I want to be sure to make it a good solid goal. I do better with deadlines as much as I complain about them.
I've enlisted the children's help with the change. They've been super in helping. Oddly, I think they are eating healthier too...although I haven't applied my own restrictions to them.
All in all a good almost week. I guess I'll know it's a changed life style when I no longer count the weeks!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Babysteps or Radical Tranformation
I need to be healthier. It's that simple. Period. I am currently the least healthy I have ever been in my life and I don't even have a good excuse. Oh, I have lots of excuses, but none of them are good ones!
In the past, when trying to make a lifestyle change, I have taken the typical advice to make small babysteps, changing a few simple things at a time. The idea being that implementing one or two changes is achievable, won't overwhelm, and can be maintained long term.
Given my lack of results with the above approach, I'm thinking of doing precisely the opposite...radical lifestyle transformation. What if I changed everything all at once? Rather than small, incremental changes, would it work to radically change my current lifestyle and start living a "healthy person's lifestyle"? I don't see that this could be harmful.
What does this healthful living look like? When should I begin? What if I fail? All things to think about. For now, I'm contemplating my approach...
Babysteps or Radical Transformation???
In the past, when trying to make a lifestyle change, I have taken the typical advice to make small babysteps, changing a few simple things at a time. The idea being that implementing one or two changes is achievable, won't overwhelm, and can be maintained long term.
Given my lack of results with the above approach, I'm thinking of doing precisely the opposite...radical lifestyle transformation. What if I changed everything all at once? Rather than small, incremental changes, would it work to radically change my current lifestyle and start living a "healthy person's lifestyle"? I don't see that this could be harmful.
What does this healthful living look like? When should I begin? What if I fail? All things to think about. For now, I'm contemplating my approach...
Babysteps or Radical Transformation???
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Starting
A beginning, a dawning, an inception, an outset, an opener, an origin.....a start
As a mother, I hope that I am teaching my children to seek the positive in situations and especially in themselves. Any parenting book around will tell you that the best way to teach your child is to model the behavior yourself. So I am learning, perhaps striving, to seek the positive in the situations and people around me, especially myself.
And so I arrive at the beginning of my first blogging experience searching for the positive in an ordinary life. I have no idea where this blog will lead or why I have begun blogging, other than it piques my interest. Whether it interests anyone else, remains to be seen!
There's nothing extraordinary about the life I live...I'm a regular mom of five children, working full time for an adoption agency, trying to balance work, life, and time for myself in amongst the every day happenings of what in today's world would be considered a "large" family.
One thing is certain, I am a great starter! I have begun many home projects, books, work concepts, etc... It remains to be seen if I can become a more accomplished "finisher". Perhaps one of the purposes of this blog is to motivate myself in that direction, to challenge myself to follow through and continue with something I've begun.
Cheers to beginnings!!!
As a mother, I hope that I am teaching my children to seek the positive in situations and especially in themselves. Any parenting book around will tell you that the best way to teach your child is to model the behavior yourself. So I am learning, perhaps striving, to seek the positive in the situations and people around me, especially myself.
And so I arrive at the beginning of my first blogging experience searching for the positive in an ordinary life. I have no idea where this blog will lead or why I have begun blogging, other than it piques my interest. Whether it interests anyone else, remains to be seen!
There's nothing extraordinary about the life I live...I'm a regular mom of five children, working full time for an adoption agency, trying to balance work, life, and time for myself in amongst the every day happenings of what in today's world would be considered a "large" family.
One thing is certain, I am a great starter! I have begun many home projects, books, work concepts, etc... It remains to be seen if I can become a more accomplished "finisher". Perhaps one of the purposes of this blog is to motivate myself in that direction, to challenge myself to follow through and continue with something I've begun.
Cheers to beginnings!!!
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