Transitions

The past two weeks with the children of the summer hosting program have been enlightening. Observing the realities of older children making their spot in a family and families working to accept them is part of that. But more enlightening yet is what observing this process is teaching me about transitions in general.

These four children are transitioning from being orphaned to having a family to call their own. They are learning of the benefits of having someone there to care for them and meet their needs, to enjoy spending time with. They are also learning how difficult it can be to let go and trust that their needs will be met and that love reaches beyond the "fun" times into the difficult times as well.

When the children first arrived they were shy and anxious to step out into the unknown with these strangers who they will one day embrace as their own. Once they stepped out and met this new way of life, the first days were filled with joy, excitement, learning, the thrill of that which is different and new. Road blocks emerged...minor illness and dental problems. Then came the desire for the familiar. While the new is exciting and provides a thrill, there's that yearning for what they have known; even when what they have known may not have been the best situation for them...life in an orphanage. And so the second week has involved a fading of that honeymoon and a struggle to somehow find balance with the draw of the past and the promise of the future.

Reflecting on their experiences, I see their transitioning is not unlike my own attempts to reform my way of living. First I was confronted with anxiety about how to approach this change, but once I stepped out, I enjoyed and embraced the new and different...a healthier way of living. Road blocks emerged...time crunches, exhaustion, other obligations and responsibilities. I too find myself with the honeymoon faded and am feeling inexplicably drawn back to the familiar..the unhealthy habits and lifestyle I once knew...even though it is not the best for me. And so I too am struggling, although in a much smaller way, with somehow finding balance with the draw of the past and the promise of a healthier me of the future.

Interesting that our humanness can bring us together over barriers like life situations, culture, and age when confronted with something we all must face through out our lives....transitions.

And so we continue to work with the children and their families to make it through the work of this change in their lives...and I come away realizing that I too must work in order to transform my own.

Small Package Extraordinary Courage

Three days ago at 2:30 a.m. four school aged children from a small Asian country met their host and potential adoptive families for the first time. The children range in age from 7 years to 12 years old.

When they finally arrived after a 36 plus hour trip from their homeland, they were smiling, giggling and hungry. As they entered the building where the families tiredly but excitedly awaited them, they grew quiet and shy. Their escort made the introductions and the smiles slowly came back across their faces and nervous giggling once again filled the air.

For some, the transition was easier than for others. One little one in particular, the youngest of the bunch, had reservations about leaving on the final leg of her journey with her host family. Eventually, she got in the car and headed to their home for the next month. She is small for her age and speaks little English. I wondered how her transition at her new home would go.

Yesterday, we stopped by to visit her and her hosting family. They are all doing really well. I am simply amazed at the strength and courage of this small child...to come half way around the world, to meet people who don't understand your language and to whom you can't really speak, to live in their home, try their food, play their games and learn their way of being a family; to lay down at night in an oddly silent darkness and wake in unfamiliar surroundings, to go from trying one new thing to the next all the while smiling, never giving up on attempting to communicate, allowing love in and returning it many times over....

If this is not true courage, then I think I will never know what courage is.